Grief and Mediumship. An alternative approach to the processing your grief. By Tracey Milne AAHP
Every so often we come to those Crossroad Moments in our lives. Points in time where things change so dramatically it can mark a definite before and after period in one's experience. The birth of a new baby illustrates this point beautifully, for our coming into this world always changes more than one life. So does the transition from embodied to disembodied. For Death, like Birth is assured at least once in each person's life. Depending on your personal belief's about the existence of an afterlife, and the idea of judgement and damnation awaiting you, or worse, the idea that there is nothing beyond this Earthly existence, loosing a loved one can hit us bigger & on different levels then even the birth of a child.
If you think about it, many breakups can also feel like a mini death,and anyone who's recovered from a broken heart knows that grief is a natural stage of coming to terms with any significant ending to a phase of life. Though in the case of a break up, we are both cursed and blessed with the knowing that we may still see these folks from time to time.
Those locked in the grief of a Death however, can often get stuck in regret or wishing for one more chance to see the person they've lost and knowing that won't be possible from that point on. Both are bitter sweet. Grief is Grief, it always has its unique degrees, depending on the person doing the processing. So although each person's grief is unique to them, there are 4 common stages that all must honour and go through to process grief fully. Trying to skip a phase, or ignore ones grief can prolong the inevitable processing as Grief like Joy is part of the human experience. It's bound to happen to everyone at least once.
There are stages to grief. Shock, Anger, Refusal, Acceptance. How quickly we process each stage depends on our perspective, both about an afterlife and any regrets we may be carrying between ourselves and the departed. " If only" thinking can consume us at these times, if we let regret override gratitude for having had them in your life at all. Grief, is us adjusting to a new way of living beyond that one moment of immense change. Grief is the price we pay for Loving someone whole heartedly.
It takes time for our human mind and heart to process the idea that we won't see this person in the physical sense from that moment forward. So many people can get stuck in the process. We can become so wrapped up in missing them, or wander around in a fog where nothing feels real. It can be easy to see how we can miss the signs being sent as soon as their soul is able to let us know they have transitioned into the non physical, safely. Butterflies, Cloud Formations, Intense Dreaming, Songs that bring back memories, A feeling that they are near. They are so subtle that in our grief they can be easy to miss.
Honour your process, don't judge yourself whatever stage your in. If it's someone you love who's locked in the jaws of grief, a hug or shoulder to lean on can help more than you realize. Give them a sounding board for their memories, or let them be silent for a while, but let them know you care. The beautiful thing about Human beings is we have a great capacity for Love.
It takes time to get used to a new way of communicating with those who've transitioned.
It takes time to allow the idea that we stay tied to those we love energetically soul to soul to really sink in. It takes time to remember how to speak from our heart and mind and receive their ideas and love through the same avenue. They are still there, it's just that their energy is vibrating at a speed so fast that our Human eyes can't perceive them, but our mind's eye can.
My guide team has often given me the metaphor of a fan set at different speeds to describe our transition from our Earth body back to our Spirit body. When the fan is set on low, the human eye can still perceive each individual blade spinning to create a slight breeze. Then the blades seemingly disappear when the fan is set to high speed, but we all know that this is not so. The blades are still there, they are just spinning to fast for our human eyes to perceive separately, but we still benefit from the effects of their spinning. Same goes for each Human Soul.
We've been so conditioned to write off our intuition and higher dimensional interactions as wishful thinking, that we can miss the q's, the signs, the messages. We can cut off our flow to them if we believe their lack of a physical body need impede our connection to their love.
Many of those closest to a departed loved one find that they aren't getting any signs or signals from their beloved. Breath easy dear friends, knowing that they will come when they can, many people, including myself find they wait up to a year for a clear signal. Again, ask, be patient, they will come when they are ready.
Many Spirit's do like to send signs. Often using nature as their messengers, so pay extra attention to those winged, and furry creature friends with any odd or eye catching displays. These are more than likely a little "I'm Here and I still Love You" message from someone on the Other Side. Money in the form of coins in strange places or repeated places is also often a little sign from beyond, as are tickles, feeling like they are near, dreams, and songs on the radio, or glitches with electronics or clocks. Some people even report drinks being spilled regularly, TV's switching on an off, Babies smiling at "nothing" and pets acting strange, or barking/hissing at "nothing". If you feel like it's them sending you a signal that they're ok & they love you, just let them know you got the sign. We can ask them for a particular signal or sign if you find some of their communication attempts are more troubling than soothing. Earth is A Free Will Zone.
Though it's true not all Spirit's who've crossed over sign up for guide duty, many do. It's nice to know that those we've loved are always just a thought away and willing to help us, when asked.
Mediumship session or grief counselling often helps those stuck in the shock, anger or refusal.
Whatever stage of grief you're in, or whatever loss you are trying to come to terms with, and it's important to remember, you are not alone. There is help out there, you need not suffer alone.
At what comes next 4u, we offer both 1/2 hour and 1hour mediumship sessions, both in person for those in the Southern Ontario area, or Long Distance phone readings for those farther away. A Mediumship session can offer you connection in an alternative way, that often brings peace, comfort and acceptance to the grieving process. My heart goes out to anyone suffering a loss right now. It would be my greatest honour to provide a channel to your loved one, and your healing. Namaste Tracey Milne AAHP